sausage, mustard, sauerkraut, beer, fall, people & *ehem* people magazine

So you might be wondering - what the heck kind of title is that?

Well - I haven't been able to do my usual storytelling, online journaling, rambling, lately - as I have admittedly been completely and utterlly wrapped up in the pyschi of some certain people *ehem* gone from my life.

I don't know if I told you - but I started, designed and run a group and website called http://www.InnsbruckExpats.com

I started it back in March on meetup.com and from there, it just kind of took on a life of it's own - and has since moved into it's own space on the web and continues to attract members and grow in activities I organize etc...

What started out as a way to make friends in a town I was otherwise feeling a stranger in (unless you count the family of my husband - which are WONDERFUL - but not the same) has now become an outlet for others doing the same, socially-challenged people, people not challenged at all that are just looking for another social outlet etc...

Now it sounds fine & dandy and for the most part - being the spazz I am online with websites, graphics, networking etc... and offline organizing events and bringing people together, it really is.

But *ehem* I can't say doing something like this, in Europe, with people that are not in their element, does come with a very hefty price & not without it's list of problems.

Granted, I started this to make friends - but since, funny enough, have made my best ones off the group.

So this brings me smack dab into what is going on.

A certain member - when I said I was going to begin implementing new policies to my group - took what I wrote (which was not personal) very, very personal and has begun what seemed to be an attempt at destroying a group and website that had since, really been continuing on for people LIKE HIM. Because he socially could not mingle well, was not an easy person to get along with - but seemed like he had a good heart and just needed a push.

He has spent the better part of this week, behind the keys - like some kind of evil mastermind - threatening to send out personal chats and emails I had with him to each member seperately. Posting long rants against me about what a bad person I am and "bitchy dictator." According to him, I was/am trying to dictate and control the group and it's members from a queens chair. *ehem*
Well ok, if the shoe fits - kidding, kidding.

But seriously.
You can stop reading here if you'd like.
Really this is just me getting out what was one of the heaviest weeks yet in my personal relations with people here in Innsbruck.

This said person I might add, is an American - raised in America but has an Austrian mom.

I don't want to pick any fights here but it seems each time I get a new problem or get harassed by someone here, it's an American male or sometimes in general, expat.
I promise I am not judging and pointing fingers - but I really am beginning to wonder and worry here. I don't have anything like this with my Austrian comrades.

Because of the evil doings of this man, my already in a sad state gut, digestion & colon (sorry) have been on overdrive and rendered me almost useless to attend german, train to teach english, write new songs, plot my next tour and trip to Austin to finish the record... Really, I have been a non-stop emailing, website private-making, deleting, defending pro.
How sad is that?
Pretty sad I know.

So after I finally stopped reeling and steaming from all of this, I took a good look at my personal myspace page - and realized there was a certain person lurking around, that I had let back in my life from long ago.
I was so revved up from this American boy that I just went and deleted her. And as of today, after receiving HER rant, I guess that deletion didn't go without some more ranting and emailing and deleting... *sigh* man, I'm tired.

Really - weeding them out, although as painful or even more so as say - a kidney stone(?) was necessary, I am now sitting here wondering what the hell is going on that these people have managed to distract my otherwise happy disposition and replace it with stress that has literally given me two new big fat lines between my eyebrows.

So last night when my husband declared Octerfest eating officially beginning - and suggested we get traditional Octoberfest white sausages, spicey mustard, warm pretzels and schnapps - although I knew my gut would literally be in shock and possibly shut down because of it - I felt god dammit, I at least earned that, right?

We filled up our cart, threw in some beer for good measure - because I don't get that anymore either - and as real treat, to remind myself I am not as bad off as some - I picked up what is one of the very few imported American magazines around - People. At €5.30 I am going to go on a limb and say it was worth every penny - all in US dollars $7.50 worth.

And believe it or not, catching up on Britney's lastest custody battle, Angelina's rumored split from Brad, the woes of Hollywood's anorexic and the passing of Merv Griffin - I felt a strange but beautiful sense of peace.

For all the antagonistic f*****s out there - waiting to twist someones colon into a tight rope, tonight I can rest easy.

Tonight, I can bury my taste buds in sauerkraut and render my brain useless of all of 20 minutes while I leave no stone unturned, reading the magazine back to back - page to page, eye and ponder every nook and cranny - missing nothing.

Tonight I can celebrate the passing of these toxic souls in and out of my life. Octoberfest and Fall in Austria.
And yes, really celebrate at least I didn't freak out enough to shave my head or lose 50 kilos.

Not yet anyway.