realization? observation?

I realize living abroad usually means you have some
realizations about yourself or the new place you are living.

And I suppose this can be one of them... realizations about
yourself I mean.

Because where I am about to go, gave me a peak into a new
way of thinking I had NO idea I would embark on.

And this is american men.

As some of you know, my husband is from a small village
in a region called Tirol, in the Austrian alps.

I'm not going to getting all cake icy here and say I knew the
minute I saw him, it was love at first sight...or even that I knew
the day I walked down the isle it would last forever.

But I did know one very important thing.
He is by far the sweetest, kindest man with the biggest heart
of anyone I have met, man or woman really.
And that was enough. As it should be.

However... yes, there is one of those.
I won't lie and say I didn't mourn (even if just a little bit) my
now 'off the market' self and lifestyle.
Um, not that it was so active before Helli anyway...
but just the thought that I was going off the radar, left me
with a nostalgia I knew looking at an old photo or googling
an old boyfriend couldn't fix.

And then I started to run into a certain kind of American man
in Europe.

Mind you, there are all sorts of men...people, from around the
world..of course, I know this.
But that certain kind of American man I am speaking of is the
one you want hit the boob bars with, a mans man.
But so much so that you wonder what goes on behind closed
doors.

But how on earth this kind of man ended up in Europe, is beginning
to bewilder me.

I realize this isn't the most politically correct topic or how I am
presenting it and I am prepared to take the heat. Even though, ehem,
this is my blog.

But I just had to say, get it off my chest, lay it all out if you will.

This man I am speaking of was in my presence tonight (names
will be withheld) and albeit in the military, at first glance, not
what I expected.
He was quite small really, shorter than me.

The thing is, he had a nice, long tirade about immigrants and
how much he loved Bush and...well do I need to go on? I mean
really?

Ok, I will.

And he held onto his wife (local Austrian girl - quiet) pretty tight
I might add, just as he drank his third beer in the first half
an hour.
The minute he started talking, from the get go and as the night
progressed and he ranted, interrupted, talked over, ignored, proved
aggressive points he clearly did not need to prove, I realized
how hard this man just made it for me to hang with American men
while I am in Austria.

Don't get me wrong, I have some good American (as well as many
other cultures) friends here. Men, women. And all over the world
of course.
But this certain kind of male, I guess...I just wasn't expecting 'him'
to pop up on my Austrian screen. You know?

I suppose I have been acclimating (without even realizing it)
to the slower-easy paced European lifestyle.
And along with that -although admittingly not always easy
'life as an expat' - the sensitive and calm nature of the European man.
At least the Austrian man.

I am already so far gone in this rant, so I'll leave it up to your
imagination what I would...could and want to say next about
this very buffed, loud, arrogant person.

I almost never rant, especially in my journals.
I like to keep away from negativity...especially 'the geared to anyone'
else kind.

But seriously, if I don't stop running into this kind of man here, I
think I will start looking at my brothers funny next time I go back
to America.

This guy is representing American men here and it's really just
downright frightening.

Admittingly, it is changing my impression of men from my own
country and this can't be a good thing.

Like I said earlier, realizations.
One, I realize not all men are like this man.
And of course, American men.

But two and last realization? Even so. Just running into enough of
them while abroad (and not having all that much to compare them
to these days) gives me a new appreciation for my sweet, humble Austrian
with nothing to prove.

If only he could have stood up for me just a bit more though.
That's about it.

I wouldn't trade my man for anyone and I love him deeply for the sensitive
man he is but if it didn't cross my mind, I'd be full of..well, you know.